Saturday, October 04, 2008
12:30 AM

1st entry for Oct.. great ...

Suddenly.. i feel that i am not the Daphne Goh/Goh Zhihan to some of you guys that know me already.. seriously speaking.. i dunno what i am doing with my life -.-

3 yrs ago when i got my O level results.. i knew i'll flunked.. but didnt expect will flunk till that extent.. and.. i nv really shed a tear AT ALL.. SERIOUS. And i went to ITE.. and i thought i can '轻松' to get in to a poly,and yet i didnt. Why? Because i didnt buck up enough ... maybe because i chose the wrong course.. or is myself really dint try my best at all.

Friends ... hong koon is the only person whu do really dare to tell me what's wrong with my character and everything.. i thank you for that. Scally in the future something really "sparks" me then i go convert to christian. So that my character and everything will be better. LOL. Now not the time to joke -.-. I remembered what she told me.. the way i dealed with pple is VERY VERY WRONG.And i think im still making the same old mistakes again.


Im really very fragile towards friendship .... 4 yrs ago i encountered one before already ... and right now im facing yet once again.. but for this case .. is considered "minor" compared to 4 yrs ago ... maybe like what you said ... i nv think before i speak... yeah. I agreed. I just straight away say whatever i have in mind without thinking abt your feelings and etc at all. So i wondered what the hell im doing for the past 20 yrs.

Maybe i shouldnt live or born into this world at all. Im not a very good person,nor a good friend,nor a good badminton player,nor a good senior. And now im hunted by old injuries. My right elbow will pain anitime at aniwhere. My wrist hurts whenever i type. My left calf will pain if i stand up for too long. My right leg sole hurts if i focus more on my right foot. HAHA. Maybe this is what "god" is trying to tell me. He wants me to change. That's why he is using this kind of method to punish me. Okay,go ahead. I know i cant play badminton ani longer... i know my elbow's condition.. now the moment i want to serve the shuttle(short/long service),my right elbow will pain immediately... AHAHA. Thanks for giving me a good punishment.You're forcing me to stop playing something that i really like....

I had alot of first times in ITE... getting medals and trophy... attending a camp with my CCA mate ... getting EAGLES ... im gladful for that but ... making me to stop playing badminton is definately cannot ... sec3 - till now ... full whole of 4/5 yrs of the passion ... you want me to give up... impossible ... i really dunno what im typing -.-

AND ... if there is any1 out there to point out what is wrong with my personality and everything,pls do tell me. I can take it. 毕竟我已经学会怎么'麻醉'自己.

Maybe i really need to find time to 反省反省.

I really hope i dont get into a relationship. I dont want the guy whu like me to see that im born to be like this. HAHA. I got alot of weakness. VERY VERY ALOT. You;ll regret. HAIYA whatever lah. 总之我不要交男朋就对了 -.- . Not in the mood and not in the bla bla to think of ROMANCE.

Dunno what entry im typing also. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Maybe really one day i become a ful christian. HOHOHO. Just to make myself happier.